Hope all of you have been practicing the meditation mentioned in the previous article. I have received some messages and emails from some of you, it was nice discussing and working with you all with regards to the meditation mentioned and other aspects of spirituality and healing too.
Today we will be discussing a subject which is one of the main causes for the build up of our frustrations within and also the reason for the issues we face in our relationships with people.
We all have expectations. Usually expectations is made to look like the cause of all evil. However though expectations is the cause of many of the issues in the world, by itself expectations can not cause any harm. It is when expectation is combined with ego, lack or resisting to understand any situation from all perceptions and some other factors that even the most joyful of situations or relations turn in to war zones.
When I mention the word "relationships" I do not restrict it to our friends and loved ones. Every time we interact with another living being we are in a relationship with them for that moment. May it be even a simple gesture like giving directions to a passer by on the road. Even in those few seconds we can affect the frame of mind of the person we are interacting with.
It is common nowadays to see people get angry and arguing at a drop of a pin. There is a deeper issue that leads to such behaviour. It is not that specific situation that leads to this outburst of anger, rage and lots more. It is the constant collection of all the frustrations, negative conditioning and fear that leads to such frequent outbursts. A situation is basically just the trigger to what lies within and waiting to erupt.
When we interact with others it is natural for expectations to arise. It is simple lets face it - we don't go to a supermarket, cart out all the goods we wish to purchase , stand in a line, bill and pay for them and not expect to take it home. So rising of expectations is natural. However it arises with all the participants of the interaction and not only ourselves. The expectations may vary and is a very complex subject to get in to. To briefly sum it up - our expectations are affected or influenced by our mindset, our inclination of being positive or negative, our belief system, our fears and the environment in which we are brought up. So expectations of the same situation can be drastically different for two different individuals. A contented mind along with understanding the cause of expectations can drastically reduce or eliminate our expectations. However lets work on dealing with the existence of expectations till we are able to eliminate them.
Lets take a situation where we are interacting with another living being, both of us will have certain expectations. Each one of us wants our expectations met but we may or may not think about the expectations the other person has from the interaction. This small factor can cause a rift and once this rift is created then other factors like ego step in and aggravate the smallest of misunderstandings till a conversation or an interaction which could have been peaceful could end up being your last interaction with that living being.
We need to resolve this at the root. It is not possible for us to read the mind or know what the other person is thinking about unless we all become psychics. Whenever we interact with others we need to be calm and work towards a solution rather than proving a point or getting what we expect. I am sure some of you will say - "it is easier said than done especially on days that have been pretty testing or with people whose body language and attitude just ticks us off". we need two hands to clap so only if we respond with anger will a situation be created. If we get angry we must remember that we need to work with ourselves to release all the pent up anger/ frustrations / disappointments and so on.
We need to realize that our getting angry or screaming or being rude will not change the situation or the actions of the other person, however we need to reciprocate in a proactive manner working towards a solution that is fair and just to all parties.
If you have been doing the meditation from the previous article then you are already on the path to understanding yourself and releasing the baggage's of the past. If you have not then it is never to late to start with it.
Once you are able to sit peacefully in the meditation explained in the previous article, I suggest you could try something along with that to help you further. - Once you have sat in front of the mirror and completed the meditation just close your eyes, breathe deeply ( dont lift your shoulders but fill your stomach with air every time you breathe in) and repeat this affirmation 10 times - I have wonderful, joyful, fruitful and long lasting relations with everyone. I have no fears and am calm. Once done slowly open your eyes and go have a blissful day ahead.