Saturday, 19 December 2015

Mindfulness or Mind Full of Mess

Everyday we wake up from sleep and get ready to walk through another day. A day with numerous challenges. A day where we can grow through numerous experiences or further entangle ourselves by letting the past mess with our now and confuse our future. 

Today we will discuss about the difference between mindfulness and a mind full of mess. We will also give some tips on how we can work with ourselves to live mindfully. 

There may be many situations or people we come across in one day. Some could be pleasant and some could be downright repelling or irritating. Why do we find some people or situations irritating or repelling??? Lets talk about it without using words like negative mindset or negative aura etc. Simply put we all have our own definition, understanding or requirements that meet our parameters for peace and joy. When anything or anyone is outside these parameters we find them repelling or irritating. Yes a person who is at a higher plane spiritually would not get affected by any sort of person or situation however here we are trying to help even the common man whose aim is to get through each day peacefully. Only if  one is at peace and free from the stress and frustrations will they gradually climb more steps that lead to spirituality.

Often when we throw a fit or get irritated it is not the present situation or person that has caused all this anger. However it is just a trigger that leads to release of all the pent up anger and frustrations within. We need to work on how we can eliminate the frustrations of the past not affecting the situations of the now. Over a period of time even the frustrations of the past will be released in a manner that will not affect our peace. 

How do we get stress free??? 
How do we negate the frustrations????
How do we release our baggage's that we keep pulling along??????

Well usually we are told stuff like meditate, eliminate expectations and so on. But honestly speaking we need to make simple steps and guide people which helps them over a period of time to live holistically and makes them content.

I agree that the cause of discontent, anger, frustrations etc is our expectations. However we all need money for food, clothing, shelter etc and we work a whole month for it so it is natural to expect a salary or remuneration. It is natural to have some thoughts on how we will spend it and so on . 

So lets first take the most important step and stop trying to suppress expectations. Suppressing anything only creates more craving at a subconscious level either for what is suppressed or it manifests as rigidity or a wavering mind. There was a time when I was in college and it was a ritual for my friends and myself to go for a movie every Friday - First day First Show. Today I have stopped watching movies and have not sat in front of the TV for over a year. This is not achieved by suppressing my needs or desires but by working with them and growing out of them. 

Following few simple steps can help us on the path to mindfulness. Start by sleeping early. Sleep is the natural form of meditation. A person who gets in a good number of hours of sleep regularly is usually free from the shackles of stress etc. When I mention good number of hours of sleep am referring to sleeping at night and not past midnight till afternoon. Try to sleep latest by 10pm though the ideal time would be 9:30pm. Wake up early at about 4- 5am. Meditate  for some time or just lie in bed start counting all your blessings and thank God or the Universe for them. Go for a walk or a jog. Do not carry music. Let the morning be your time. Listen to the music that is within you. You could continue counting your blessings while you walk or jog too. Greet people that you meet even if they are strangers or even if they don't reply. 

The above steps if done regularly will show a major transformation in your general lifestyle physically, emotionally and spiritually too. Now moving to the most important part - The Day. Let me start by an example that exists in my reality everyday - Every morning one of the neighbours insists on leaving his door open. It keeps on banging a million times till they finally shut it in the afternoon. This loud banging of the door irritates quite a few people in my building. While I use each bang of the door to count a blessing. So every time the door bangs I count a blessing. What causes irritation to others brings me peace.

I have not done something extraordinary. I have just decided how to respond to a situation. We all have the power to respond to any situation the way we wish to. So lets try a simple yet pretty challenging step. Whenever we are faced by something that could get us angry, irritated, or raise our voice etc just remove yourself from the situation. Now from the outside view the situation including yourself. Most of the time when you do this you will always come to the conclusion that nothing you do out of anger or irritation will erase what has happened nor will it bring a positive change. The next thing to do is respond to it positively and proactively.  You could always express that you are not happy or okay with being treated in  a specific way by a person, however do so in a polite manner and not when they are twisting your nerves. Make it your habit to respond only this way. Initially it may seem difficult. However keep at it for a fortnight and it will become a part of your character. It will not only reduce the frustration and irritation levels from building within you but will also start having a positive effect on the people around you. Their behaviour towards you will change. They will also start transforming positively. Yes it may not happen immediately but as long as you are at peace there will no longer be any rush. 

Mindfulness is about actually living in the now. For only when we do not let the bagage's of the past pour out in to the now are we living in the now.

We are here to guide or help you further. We can customize meditations and healing processes that will help you for what is on your journey of life. Do feel free to write to us or contact us over the phone.

Breathe !!!




Thursday, 3 December 2015

No one can cheat anyone else......

Do you feel someone has cheated you?

Does that break your trust?

When we are the masters of our own selves  so how can someone external cheat us???? 

 Before we go further let us first understand the meaning of the word " Cheat". The dictionary meaning of  cheat is -

- A person who behaves in a dishonest way.

- To act dishonestly or unfairly to gain an advantage.

In reality nobody can cheat us. They only break our expectation that we ourselves set. What we expect from them may not be what they feel they should live up to or obligated to do. Only we can cheat ourselves. Let me explain this with the help of 2 examples.

Situation 1 -

We buy our groceries regularly from a particular shop. It has been years that we have been buying from him. One day we buy 4kgs brown rice from him at say Rupees 100/- a kg. We are walking home with the rice and see a shop on the way that is selling the same or may be better brown rice for Rupees 50/- a kg. Now immediately we will say that the shopkeeper cheated us. 

But in reality he did not cheat us. He mentioned the price we bought it. Only thing that happened is we expected that he will not sell something at a higher rate and give us the best price. So what happened is our expectation broke nothing else happened. However if the shopkeeper feels guilty for selling the rice at a higher price. If he has a constant debate inside about the pricing. Then the shopkeeper has cheated himself. As he has acted dishonestly or unfairly to gain an advantage. If the shopkeeper is okay with his act of selling at a higher rate, then he has not cheated himself because he feels he is justified to do so. 

Situation 2 - 

Lets say there is a married couple. We are not going to talk about the morality or right or wrong about the act here.  If the wife / husband decides or has an extra marital affair. Now if the wife or husband feels guilty of what they are doing, if they are secretive and trying to hide from everyone about their affair out of fear or the feeling that it is wrong, then they are cheating themselves. As they are doing something that at some level they don't agree with. Now if the other partner finds out of this, their expectation that my spouse will not have an affair with anyone else is broken. Their image of their spouse gets shattered.

So in both situations only the expectations are broken. The one breaking the expectations can only cheat herself / himself. They can not cheat another person.

Especially in matters of the heart we often use the words - Unconditional Love. If the love is unconditional then there are no expectations as we have no conditions. However this is not a very easy concept to actually live by but it is always easy to use big words. 

 Instead of using a negative word called CHEAT be more proactive accept that your expectations were not met move ahead remembering your lesson from that experience. We can only move ahead if we forgive and release the anger within. This can only happen if we accept the fact that no one can cheat us and only the expectations we had set has been broken.

I have worked with quite a few people over the last few years. Some had even gone in to a phobic state where they were constantly having issues with trusting people as they felt everyone will cheat them. Some even had gone in to depression.  Most of them today have overcome their issues. Some are just not ready to accept this. They may take some more time before they are ready to transform and move towards the path of transcending spiritually. I pray and send energy daily for such people.

It is with accepting the truth about the word which we assign to every situation where our expectations are broken and meditating on what I call -  The Root Trust Meditation, as a combination can we raise our awareness and rise above the situation.

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