Do you feel someone has cheated you?
Does that break your trust?
When we are the masters of our own selves so how can someone external cheat us????
Before we go further let us first understand the meaning of the word " Cheat". The dictionary meaning of cheat is -
- A person who behaves in a dishonest way.
- To act dishonestly or unfairly to gain an advantage.
In reality nobody can cheat us. They only break our expectation that we ourselves set. What we expect from them may not be what they feel they should live up to or obligated to do. Only we can cheat ourselves. Let me explain this with the help of 2 examples.
Situation 1 -
We buy our groceries regularly from a particular shop. It has been years that we have been buying from him. One day we buy 4kgs brown rice from him at say Rupees 100/- a kg. We are walking home with the rice and see a shop on the way that is selling the same or may be better brown rice for Rupees 50/- a kg. Now immediately we will say that the shopkeeper cheated us.
But in reality he did not cheat us. He mentioned the price we bought it. Only thing that happened is we expected that he will not sell something at a higher rate and give us the best price. So what happened is our expectation broke nothing else happened. However if the shopkeeper feels guilty for selling the rice at a higher price. If he has a constant debate inside about the pricing. Then the shopkeeper has cheated himself. As he has acted dishonestly or unfairly to gain an advantage. If the shopkeeper is okay with his act of selling at a higher rate, then he has not cheated himself because he feels he is justified to do so.
Situation 2 -
Lets say there is a married couple. We are not going to talk about the morality or right or wrong about the act here. If the wife / husband decides or has an extra marital affair. Now if the wife or husband feels guilty of what they are doing, if they are secretive and trying to hide from everyone about their affair out of fear or the feeling that it is wrong, then they are cheating themselves. As they are doing something that at some level they don't agree with. Now if the other partner finds out of this, their expectation that my spouse will not have an affair with anyone else is broken. Their image of their spouse gets shattered.
So in both situations only the expectations are broken. The one breaking the expectations can only cheat herself / himself. They can not cheat another person.
Especially in matters of the heart we often use the words - Unconditional Love. If the love is unconditional then there are no expectations as we have no conditions. However this is not a very easy concept to actually live by but it is always easy to use big words.
I have worked with quite a few people over the last few years. Some had even gone in to a phobic state where they were constantly having issues with trusting people as they felt everyone will cheat them. Some even had gone in to depression. Most of them today have overcome their issues. Some are just not ready to accept this. They may take some more time before they are ready to transform and move towards the path of transcending spiritually. I pray and send energy daily for such people.
It is with accepting the truth about the word which we assign to every situation where our expectations are broken and meditating on what I call - The Root Trust Meditation, as a combination can we raise our awareness and rise above the situation.
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