A few weeks back a dear soul and myself were discussing about how restraints and conditioning affects us. The dear soul requested me to write on this subject. So here we are with my thoughts on this vast topic. Will try to keep it as brief as possible.
From the time we are born we are constantly being conditioned or put in to a certain frame work that is believed to be perfect for us. We are being taught what to like, what to hate, what is right, what is wrong, what to eat, what to wear, how to think, how to live and so on.
These restraints or conditioning that we grow up with are based on fear. Fear of going against what we are told to be right or the fear of living beyond the barriers that have been given to us. The sum of these fears is inversely proportional to the sum of experiences that make up our life. We start living like the dead but are still breathing. Everything we do is the result of the conditioning that has become us. To try anything beyond that conditioning is considered taboo. When we are so scared to look beyond the walls that are built around us, we end up being prisoners, for we have never tried anything beyond those walls. We have never had the chance to try both sides and decide what is perfect for our well being.
From the time we start taking our first few steps we are taught to fear our own bodies, to cover it up. The very same body that is created by the universe / creator / God. We are made conscious of our physical selves in a way that at a deeper level we are constantly afraid of anyone getting a glimpse of our bodies. I do not say that to get rid of this fear we all should shed our clothes and walk around naked. However being naked is one of our first and biggest fears. This fear manifests in to numerous other fears as we grow up.
When choices or the ability to freely go about trying anything and then deciding for ourselves which side to choose is missing we are in shackles.
The Shackles of Restraint
To make strong, the walls of conditioning that are built around us, we are usually told or taught that it is against the word of God or that it is against the framework of society. This leads to us being taught to live by the image that we are told to maintain. Conditioning leads to us living more for how the people around us look at us or how we would appear in the eyes of God rather than how our souls wish to live. Any attempt to try anything beyond these walls is looked up by all around us as insanity and people who break these barriers are often referred as queer or crazy. When in reality they are the few sane people left and the others are zombies in shackles, following a path like a herd of sheep.
We are taught toxic words like Shame or being Ashamed. Being ashamed is nothing but feeling bad for how people around us view the act we have done. It is nothing but another attempt to force us externally to live within the framework. A person caught committing a crime may surely feel ashamed temporarily for what they have done thanks to the way society reacts to their behaviour, however unless the person repents rather than being ashamed they will never change. So in the end only when we connect within and understand what we have done by comparing the options after experiencing them can there be change and growth. Just being ashamed because we broke the image that we were supposed to live by will never resolve the issue.
This does not mean we should do everything that is opposite to what we are taught, neither does it mean that all we are taught while growing up is wrong or false. It just means we need to be more open minded to other possibilities and take our decisions not based on only what we are told to be the truth.
Life is not about living up to the expectations or images that people have from us. When we live like that we feel a drain, a drain that runs deep, draining us not only physically but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
There are no boundaries, no right or wrong, no good or bad. It all boils down to whether we are ready to get rid of these shackles and start thinking freely and gradually start living free from all these shackles not bothered of what people think of us but being concerned about connecting within and being true to our own self.